And now, from our 'Feeling Fluishness Department' here is the ultimate virus alert:
This is only for amusement, This is NOT A REAL/OFFICIAL VIRUS WARNING, if these were
real/official viruses or warnings, you would have heard a very annoying sound and then been informed
where to tune for further information.
_______________________________________________________________________________
Date: Tue, 2 Feb 1999 15:22:33 -0500
From: Christa C Louise <
>
> VIRUS ALERT * VIRUS ALERT * VIRUS ALERT * VIRUS ALERT * VIRUS ALERT
>
> If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes," delete it immediately. Do
> not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty.
>
> It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also
> delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer.
>
> It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards.
>
> It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and
> uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play.
>
> It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so all your ice
> cream melts and your milk curdles.
>
> It will program your phone autodial to call only your mother-in-law's
> number.
>
> This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.
>
> IT WILL DRINK ALL YOUR BEER!
>
> It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are expecting
> company.
>
> Its radioactive emissions will cause your toe jam and bellybutton fuzz
>(be honest, you have some) to migrate behind your ears.
>
> It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all
> while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing
>their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.
>
> It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way that is
> only fun until someone loses an eye.
>
> It will give you Dutch Elm Disease and Tinea.
>
> It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to
> passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings which
> grossly change the interpretations of key sentences.
>
> If the "Badtimes" message is opened in a Windows95 environment, it will
> leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously
>close to a full bathtub.
>
> It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and
> pillows, but it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.
>
> It will replace all your luncheon meat with Spam.
>
> It will molecularly rearrange your cologne or perfume, causing it to
>smell like dill pickles.
>
> It is insidious and subtle.
>
> It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.
>
> It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
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>