And now, from our Department of Pairs and Bonds, here is:


Subject: Odd Couples

Source: Dodd Harris < >


- If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she'd be Yoko Ono Bono.

- If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she'd be Dolly Dali.

- If Bo Derek married Don Ho, she'd be Bo Ho.

- If Oprah Winfrey married Deepak Chopra, she'd be Oprah Chopra.

- If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg (Hey! it's the '90's!) he'd

be Cat Doggy Dogg.

- If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to

marry Elton John, she'd be Olivia Newton-John Newton John.

- If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry

Herman Munster, she'd become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.

- If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting.

- If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and

married Jerry Mathers, she'd be Liv Ito Beaver.

- If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he'd be Snoop

Doggy Dogg Pooh.

- How about a baseball marriage? If Boog Powell married Felipe

Alou, he'd be Boog Alou.

- If G. Gordon Liddy married Boutros-Boutros Ghali, then divorced

him to marry Kenny G., he'd be G. Ghali G.

- Nog (Quark's nephew on "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine") has no

other name, so he uses it twice when getting a marriage license.

If he married Howard Hughes, and then Pamela Dare, he'd be Nog

Nog Hughes Dare.

- If Shirley Jones married Tom Ewell, then Johnny Rotten, then Nathan

Hale, she'd be Shirley Ewell Rotten Hale.

- If Jack Handy (SNL writer) married Andy Capp, then married Jack Paar,

then moved on to Stephen King, he'd be Jack Handy Capp Paar King.

- If Javier Lopez married Keiko the whale, and Edith Piaf married Rose

Tu the elephant, they would be Javier Keiko and Edith Tu.

- If Ivana Trump married, in succession, Orson Bean (actor), King Oscar

(of Norway), Louis B. Mayer (of MGM), and Norbert Wiener

(mathematician), she would then be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.

- If Woody Allen married Natalie Wood, divorced her and married

Gregory Peck, divorced him and married Ben Hur, he'd be Woody

Wood Peck Hur.

- If Dolly Parton married Tommy Smothers, then went even further back

in show business and married Mr. Lucky, then divorced and married

Martin Short, then divorced and married football kicker Ray Guy, we

could all nod understandingly when we heard, "Dolly Parton

Smothers Lucky Short Guy."



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