And now, from our Department of International Communication, here is:
Subject: Signs In English All Over The World
Actual signs in English in non-English speaking countries:
IN A BUCHAREST HOTEL LOBBY: The lift is being fixed for the next day.
During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
IN A LEIPZIG ELEVATOR: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when
IN A BELGRADE HOTEL ELEVATOR: To move the cabin, push button for wishing
floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a
number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by
IN A PARIS HOTEL ELEVATOR: Please leave your values at the front desk.
IN A HOTEL IN ATHENS: Visitors are expected to complain at the office
between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily.
IN A YUGOSLAVIAN HOTEL: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the
job of the chambermaid.
IN A JAPANESE HOTEL: You are invited to take advantage of the
IN THE LOBBY OF A MOSCOW HOTEL ACROSS FROM A RUSSIAN ORTHODOX MONASTERY:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet
composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
IN AN AUSTRIAN HOTEL CATERING TO SKIERS: Not to perambulate the
corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
ON THE MENU OF A POLISH HOTEL: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet
soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let
loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
IN A HONGKONG SUPERMARKET: For your convenience, we recommend courteous,
IN A BANGKOK DRY CLEANER'S: Drop your trousers here for best results.
OUTSIDE A PARIS DRESS SHOP: Dresses for street walking.
OUTSIDE A HONGKONG DRESS SHOP: Ladies have fits upstairs.
IN A RHODES TAILOR SHOP: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush,
we will execute customers in strict rotation.
FROM THE "SOVIET WEEKLY": There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by
15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over
the past two years.
IN AN EAST AFRICAN NEWSPAPER: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape
since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
IN A VIENNA HOTEL: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel
A SIGN POSTED IN GERMANY'S BLACK FOREST: It is strictly forbidden on our
black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance,
men and women, live together in one tent unless the are married with each
other for this purpose.
IN A ZURICH HOTEL: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of
the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby by used
for this purpose.
IN AN ADVERTISEMENT BY A HONGKONG DENTIST: Teeth extracted by the latest
A TRANSLATED SENTENCE FROM A RUSSIAN CHESS BOOK: A lot of water had been
passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.
IN A ROME LAUNDRY: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the
afternoon having a good time.
IN A CZECHOSLOVAKIAN TOURIST AGENCY: Take one of our horse-driven city
tours. We guarantee no miscarriages.
ADVERTISEMENT FOR DONKEY RIDES IN THAILAND: Would you like to ride on
your own ass?
ON THE FAUCET IN A FINNISH WASHROOM: To stop the drip, turn cock to
IN THE WINDOW OF A SWEDISH FURRIER: Fur coats made for ladies from their
ON THE BOX OF A CLOCKWORK TOY MADE IN HONGKONG: Guaranteed to work
throughout its useful life.
DETOUR SIGN IN KYUSHI, JAPAN: Stop. Drive sideways.
IN A SWISS MOUNTAIN INN: Special Today - no ice cream.
IN A BANGKOK TEMPLE: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner
dressed as a man.
IN A TOKYO BAR: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
IN A COPENHAGEN AIRLINE TICKET OFFICE: We take your bags and send them
in all directions.
ON THE DOOR OF A MOSCOW HOTEL ROOM: If this is your first visit to the
USSR, you are welcome to it.
IN A NORWEGIAN COCKTAIL LOUNGE: Ladies are requested not to have children
in the bar.
AT A BUDAPEST ZOO: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any
suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
IN THE OFFICE OF A ROMAN DOCTOR: Specialist in women and other diseases.
IN AN ACAPULCO HOTEL: The manager has personally passed all the water
IN A TOKYO SHOP: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they
are best in the long run.
FROM A JAPANESE INFORMATION BOOKLET ABOUT USING A HOTEL AIR CONDITIONER:
Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm air in your room,
please control yourself.
FROM A BROCHURE OF A CAR RENTAL FIRM IN TOKYO: When passenger of foot
heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but
if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
TWO SIGNS FROM A MAJORCAN SHOP ENTRANCE:
- - - - English well talking
- - - - Here speeching American.
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