And now, from our Department of Insight and Understanding, here is:

Subject: Funny Definitions
Source: Unknown

Lecture :
An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer
to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of
either" .

Opportunists :
One who starts having a bath when he/she accindently falls in a river .

Conference :
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present .

Compromise :
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he
got the biggest piece .

Love affairs :
Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more
popular than a five day test .

Tears :
The hydraulic force by which one partner's will-power is defeated by
the other's water-power .

Dictionary :
A place where divorce comes before marriage .

Cigarette :
A pinch of tobaco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on
the other .

Conference Room :
A place where everybody talks , nobody listens & everybody
disagrees later on .

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