And now, from our department of 'higher' education, here is:

Subject: Actual High School Essays
Source: Collected by the NEA (National Education Association)

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He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience,like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
(Joseph Romm, Washington)

She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again. (Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station)

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
(Russell Beland, Springfield)

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a
Hefty Bagfilled with vegetable soup.
(Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring)

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene
had aneerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in
another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.
(Roy Ashley, Washington)

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a
sneeze.(Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black
dots in the center.
(Russell Beland, Springfield)

Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets
T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake.
(Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills)

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. (Unknown)

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree. (Jack Bross, Chevy Chase)

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like
maggots whenyou fry them in hot grease. (Gary F. Hevel, Silver Spring)

Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her
life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as
something like "Second Tall Man."
(Russell Beland, Springfield)

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced
across the grassy field toward each other like two freight
trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55
mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
(Jennifer Hart, Arlington)

The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after
the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.
(Wayne Goode, Madison, Ala.)

They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with
picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth
(Paul Kocak, Syracuse, N.Y.)

John and Mary had never met. They were like two
hummingbirds who had also never met.
(Russell Beland, Springfield)


The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound
of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm
scene in a play.
(Barbara Fetherolf, Alexandria)

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking
alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free
(Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red.
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