Proverbs 17:22 says that "A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones." What this means is that if you can't take a joke, you'll wind up on medication. So, seriously folks, take these jokes, please!
But first, sit down (NOW!)
Lean back as far as you can without hurting yourself
And look at the world from another point of view!
And when you're done with that, read the *DISCLAIMER* !
Also, please take note:
Due to circumstances beyond any of our control, the laughter index indicates that the cost of a good laugh continues to rise!
The Cost of Laughing Index of 16 humor indicators rose 3 percent through the last decade, even though the price of as many items went up as went down. However in the last several months, the index has climbed 42%! That’s inflation!
Sadly, Groucho glasses, available for $15 a dozen from 1992 - 1998, then $25 a dozen in the early 21st century, have now been deemed cultural appropriation and cancelled by the humorless and comedy impaired.
Happily, rubber chickens, which were available for $66 a dozen from 1996 - 1998, are now down to $65 a dozen!
Final numbers are not yet in, due to the fact that they (and you know who they are...the people who steal
hubcaps and do studies and surveys) are still counting the rubber chickens before they hatch.
At any rate, the funny stuff posted here continues to be FREE!
We're able to offer this fantastic price of FREE because
1. We're into wholesale laughter.
We don't make a penny on these laughs,
but we make it up in volume! and
2. We use old humor! How old is it?
It's so old that it doesn't feel anything until noon!
This humor has been around but it still has lots of good laughs in it.
Seriously, we think it is wrong the way people discard perfectly good humor that has not even been used yet. Not too seriously. Wouldn't want to wind up being dead serious.
Which is actually the main reason this humor is free.
Forget the other stuff I said. The key point is FREE! YAY!
Besides, there's plenty of interesting news these days to burden our souls, and laughter is the best alternative to crying about all that’s lost, all that’s broken, and all that’s insane in the world around us.
In the early 21st century, there was more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research. This means that in the not-too-distant future, there will be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
I heard something else interesting that I meant to tell you, but I no longer recall what it was. In fact, right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten to tell you this before!
Not that I'm as old as these jokes. I’m only 72.
Old is when 'getting lucky,' means you find your car in the parking lot.
Old is when your wife says "Let's go upstairs and make love" and you reply, "Sweetheart, I can't do both!"
Old is when your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes, and it turns out that you're barefoot.
I know I'm not that old! Like George Burns used to say,
"You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you can do while you're down there."
No, there's very little left in our modern world as old as the jokes here-in.
(Here-in is a word you won't find in our modern world, except hear-in!)
But enough already with the big buildup for the old jokes. You should see them before you age out of reading this! And remember, 'Thou Shalt Not Should On Thyself! (That’s not a joke!)
*** FINAL NOTE BEFORE ENTERING ***
I’ve never been very good at the ‘politically correct’ thing. In fact, I’m almost certain that much of what you find in here is out of date, out of touch, and out of bounds. I’m increasingly an anachronism. Try to find it in your heart to forgive if something offends. Blame my whole generation if that helps.