And now, from our department of starry eyes and happy thoughts, here is:
Subject: Wishful Thinking
Source: Les Pourciau at UMem < >
THINGS YOU WISH YOU'D HEAR
From your auto mechanic:
"That part is much less expensive than I thought."
"I've never seen anyone maintain his car as well as you do."
"You could get that done more cheaply at the garage down the street."
"It was just a loose wire - No charge."
From your daughter/son's preschool teacher:
"Everyone misbehaved today, except Mary/Michael."
"Mary/Michael traded her/his candy bar for carrot sticks."
"I wish we had 20 Marys/Michaels."
From a store clerk:
"The computerized cash register is down. I'll just add up your
purchases with a pencil and paper."
"We're sorry we sold you defective merchandise. We'll pick it up at
your home and bring you a new one, or give you a complete refund
- whichever you prefer."
From a contractor:
"Whoever worked on this before sure knew what he was doing."
"I think I came in a little high on that estimate."
From a dentist:
"I think you're flossing too much."
"I won't ask any questions until I take the pick out of your mouth."
From a restaurant server:
"I think it's presumptuous for a waiter to volunteer his name,
but since you ask, it's Tim."
"I was slow and inattentive. I cannot accept any tip."
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