And now, from our Department of Transportation, here is:

Subject: The "No Frills" Airline
Source: Jim Moore Jr < >

It was a "no frills" Airline:

.... They didn't sell tickets, they sold chances

.... All the insurance machines in the terminal were sold out

.... Before the flight, the passengers got together and elected a pilot

.... If you kiss the wing for luck before boarding, it kisses you back

.... You could not board the plane unless you had the exact change

.... Before we took off, the stewardess told us to fasten our Velcro

.... The Captain asked all the passengers to chip in a little for gas

.... When they pulled the steps away, the plane started rocking

.... The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway

.... You ask the Captain how often their planes crash. He sez, "Just once"

.... No movie. Didn't need one. Your life kept flashing before your eyes

.... You see a man with a gun, but he's demanding to be let off the plane

.... All the planes have both a bathroom and a chapel

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