And now, from our Warm And Fuzzy Feelings Department, here is:

Subject: If Micro$oft Made Cars
Source: Danny Lewis,

Top 10 Microsoft Auto Innovations

10. New seats would require everyone to have the same butt size.

9. We would all have to switch to Microsoft Gas.

8. The U.S. government would be forced to rebuild all of the roads
for Microsoft cars; they will drive on the old roads, but they run
very slowly.

7. The oil, alternator, gas and engine warning lights would be
replaced by a single 'General Car Fault' warning light.

6. Sun MotorSystems would make a car that was solar-powered, twice as
reliable and five times as fast, but would run on only 5% of the

5. You would be constantly pressured to upgrade your car.

4. You could have only one person in the car at a time, unless you
bought a Car95 or CarNT -- but then you would have to buy ten more
seats and a new engine.

3. Occasionally, your car would die for NO apparent reason and you
would have to restart it. Strangely, you would just accept this as

2. Every time the lines of the road were repainted, you would have to
buy a new car.

And the Number 1 Microsoft Automobile Innovation is......

1. People would get excited about the new features of the latest
Microsoft cars, forgetting that these same features had been available
from other car makers for years!

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