Subject: Medical Terms 2

Source: Les Porciau

Adenoma what you say to your mother when you don't know the answer

Aerobe a garment worn around the house

Alimentary what Holmes said to Watson

Antepartum when your father's sister goes home

Atonic goes with your gin

Barium what you do with a dead patient

Benign what an eight-year-old wants to be

Bolus what psychoanalysts talk

Buccal does up your belt

Bullae is a tough guy

Carpal someone you drive to work with

Castrate market price for setting a fracture

Cauterise what the male-chauvinist registrar (hospitals) did when

he winked at a female medical student

Chiropractor an Egyptian doctor

Chorea what doctors have instead of a proper job

Cystogram a cable sent to your sister

Denial where Cleopatra used to swim

Dilate to live to a great age

Elixir what a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone

Emesis a pop group with Phil Collins

Euthanasia young people from Asia

Ferritin searching for something hurriedly

Fibula a little white lie

Fundi what the Princess of Wales was before she married Charles

Fungi what Prince Charles was before Diana

Ganglia a very tall thin person

Genotype the kind of girl Gino likes

Hippocampus a medical school where even a hippo can pass

Hormone a noise from the brothel next door

Inbred best way to eat salami

Intern one after another

Migraine what a Russian farmer can at last say about his harvest

Nitrate about L15 per hour

Paradox a couple of quacks

Pasteurise too far to see

Platelet a saucer

Plerual more than one

Porphyrins financially-challenged acquaintances who borrow money

Profile the queue outside the brothel door

Protein an adolescent specialist

Psoas in order that

Rabid fast

Rectum what being up all night did to the students

Sacral holy

Sella where to keep wine

Serum what you do to steaks on the barbecue

Specimen guys who wear glasses

Streptococcus a boastful but impotent lecher

Testes small quizzes

Tolerance what you get if you give growth hormone to ants

Tumour an extra pair of something

Urinate what the nurse tells a patient inquiring his room number

Vertigo how foreigners ask for directions

Vitamin what happens when you see friends passing your door


And now, a bonus bad (verrrrry bad) joke!

A man enters hospital for an amputation. The next day after the operation, the doctor gently wakes up the man and says "I've got some good news and some bad news."

"What's the bad news" the man barely croaked

"We chopped off your wrong leg, which means that you now have no legs."

"Ohh noooo! What's the good news!" he pleads

"The fella in the next bed wants to buy your slippers.


Take 2 aspirins and go back to the Laughter Index