Proverbs 17:22 says that "A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones." What this means is that if you can't take a joke, you'll wind up on medication. So, seriously folks, take these jokes, please!
But first, sit down (NOW!)
Lean back as far as you can without hurting yourself
And look at the world from another point of view!
And when you're done with that, read the *DISCLAIMER* !
Also, please take note:
Due to circumstances beyond any of our control,
the laughter index indicates that the cost
of a good laugh continues to rise!
The Cost of Laughing Index of 16 humor indicators
rose 3 percent through the last decade,
even though the price of as many items
went up as went down.
Sadly, Groucho glasses, available for $15 a
dozen from 1992 - 1998, now are $25 a dozen.
Happily, rubber chickens, which were available for $66
a dozen from 1996 - 1998, are now down to $48 a dozen!
Statistics for the new century are not yet in, due to the fact that
they (and you know who they are...the people who steal
hubcaps and do studies and surveys)
are still counting the rubber chickens.
At any rate, this site continues to be FREE!
We're able to offer this fantastic price of FREE because
1. We're into wholesale laughter.
We don't make a penny on these laughs,
but we make it up in volume! and
2. We use old humor! How old is it?
It's so old that it doesn't feel anything until noon!
This humor has been around
but it still has lots of good laughs in it. Seriously,
we think it is wrong the way people discard
perfectly good humor that has not even
been used yet. Not too seriously. Wouldn't
want to wind up being dead serious.
Which is the main reason this humor is free.
Forget the other stuff.
Besides, there's plenty of interesting news these days
to keep us all laughing when we should be crying.
There is more money being spent on
breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research.
This means that by 2030, there should be a large
elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections
and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
I heard something else interesting that I meant to tell you, but I no longer recall what it was. In fact, right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten to tell you this before!
Not that I'm as old as the jokes that you'll find here.
Old is when 'getting lucky,' means you find your car in the parking lot.
Old is when your wife says "Let's go upstairs and make love" and you reply, "Sweetheart, I can't do both!"
Old is when your friends compliment you on your new aligator shoes, and it turns out that you're barefoot.
I know I'm not that old! Like George Burns used to say,
"You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you can do while you're down there."
No, there's very little left in our modern world
as old as the jokes you will find herein.
(Herein is a word you won't find in our modern world, except hearin!)
But enough already with the big buildup for the old jokes.