And now, from our 'Even God Has A Sense Of Humor, just look at the giraffe!' department,
here is:

Subject: WHY GOD NEVER GOT TENURE
Source: Sarah W. Soderlund< >

1. Only one major publication.
2. ...in Aramaic, Hebrew & Greek.
3. ...no references.
4. It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
5. Some doubts if he wrote it himself.
6. May be true he created the world, but what has he done since then?
7. Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
8. Never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human subjects.
9. When experiment went awry, tried to cover it by drowning subjects.
10. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, deleted them from sample.
11. Rarely comes to class, and just told students to read the book.
12. Had son teach certain classes.
13. Expelled first two students for learning too much.
14. Only had ten requirements, but most of his students failed them.
15. Office hours infrequent and usually held on mountaintop.

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