And now, from our 'Keep your distance, I'll read it for you' department, here is:
Subject: Bumper Stickers
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Always remember you are unique, just like everybody else.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
"More hay, Trigger?" "No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!"
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.