And now, from our Department of Advice Left Unheeded, here is:
Subject: How to be annoying
Source: Jaremy Scot < >
CREDIT: Pablo Necochea
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
Staple papers in the middle of the page.
Ask 800 operators for dates.
Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register.
Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
Pay for your dinner with pennies.
Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
When someone asks you for the name of a good hair dresser, tell them the name of yours and proceed to talk about everyone in your family who has gone to her, right down to your brother's girlfriend's friends sister-in-law's step great aunt and the type of haircut they each got.
Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
Light road flares on a birthday cake.
Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
Drive half a block.
Name your dog "Dog".
Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
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