You knew it was inevitable. Now, from our department of 'Pills for what ails ya', here is:
NEW MEDICINE FOR MEN
- Submitted by K. Lawson
With Viagra such a great medical success for increasing men's sexual
prowess, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards
improving the performance of men in today's society..
Here are a few of the new ones:
DIRECTRA - a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips
caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost,
compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.
PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to
actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one.
COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men
administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle.
Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing
BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge
to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after talking this
drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can be
continued for a period longer than your favorite store's return limit.
NEGA-VIAGRA - Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently
undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents.
NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug had the strange effect of making men want to
turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members.
FLATULAGRA - This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal gasesback
into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be doubled for long car rides.
FLYAGRA - This drug has been showing great promise in treating men
with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful for men on Viagra.
PRYAGRA - About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the
test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of other
Note: Apparent overdose turned three test subjects into "special prosecutors."
LIAGRA - This drug causes men to be less than truthful when being
asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available in Regular,
Grand Jury and Presidential Strength versions.
BarumpBump....back to the index